Thursday, June 25, 2009

I cant believe it is finally happening, I beat the statistics!

Wow, I cant believe it is finally happening. I beat the statistics! I am graduated from college with a associates degree in criminal justice. Wow, I am so beyond proud of myself! A little history for everyone. I found out that I was pregnant when I was 15 years old. I figured that my life was pretty much over with. The day that I found out, I was with my mother, who then sat me down and explained to me that I had one of two choices, give my baby up for adoption and go on living a semi normal life...Or have the baby and keep him. It was a very difficult decision because I was only 15. I decided when I was 4 months pregnant that I was absolutly going to keep my baby, and I knew what that meant for the rest of my life. There would be no more cheerleading, no more volley ball, no more hanging out with my friends...That meant no home coming dances, no spirit nights, no prom, no graduation in a normal college.That meant growing up to an adult status even before he was to be born. So much weight was dummped into my lap, because of the decisions that I made for myself. When my son was born, it was amazing. My mother helped me as much as she could..but with her working a full time job, helping me take care of a new born was the last thing that she wanted to do. The father of my son, he and I did not live in the same place, so the help was not there from him at that time. I was faced with a coliky baby who cried all of the time, no matter what I did to comfort him. I was so exhausted...My mother later down the line when my son was about 4 months talked me into going back to an alternative high school to graduate a year later than my class. I did go back, and I was taking classes while my son was in the day care at the high school. A month after starting school again, I got into a car accident that required me to have surgery on my back, which was a long recovery process...Heck, I am still trying to recover all of the way from that....I then was declaired disabled by the government because of my back. ...I moved out of my moms house at the beginning of 2005, and got my own apartment with my son and his father. It was a learning experience, let me tell you. There no longer was my mom to turn to for the help with asking questions...I was still young and trying to figure out the type of mom I was suppose to be. He was 2 going on 3 at that time...I found out that I was pregnant again andb.My daughter was born in october of 2006. I just turned 20- 5 days after she was born..So I knew what to expect..The problem was that my daughter was born 8 weeks prematurly. She only weighed 5lbs. When she was born, I could not see her. The nicu team was in my room and rushed her away, the minute she was born. I was in labor and having contractions for 5 days before I actually had her. The hospital staff was trying to stop the labor..The 5th day my daughter did not want to wait any longer and after active labor for 8 hrs..she was here in the world. I finally got to see her 2 hours after she was born, and it was one of the scariest and happiest days of my life. Being wheeled into the nicu not knowing which baby is yours had me in tears right away, I just wanted my baby in my arms. I finally got to hold her. She was so beautiful and so very tiny..Campared to my son who weighed 8 almost 9 pounds when he was born. ..After 3 days in the hospital I got to leave and my daughter had to stay for an extra day. It was very hard leaving the hospital with a ton of ballons, and gifts and no baby. In 2007, I was encouraged by the love of my life and the father of my children to get back into school once again and graduate this time. For mothers day, I was presented with a gift of enough money, to get back into school. I graduated with my High school diploma that June. That October I enrolled into an online college, The university of Phoenix...If you ould have asked me at the beginning of all of this did I think I would ever be a high school graduate, I would have looked at you and cried and said no. If you would have asked me did I think I would ever be a college graduate, I would have cried and walked away from you. I beat the statistics...I have been through hell...The point of this story is that If you think that you have it hard, someone has it 10 times harder than you do. Someone faced with the same circumstance may never graduate college and stay a statistic because they choose not to work hard enough, to get to where they are going. Just because I had a messed up start to life- I am right where God wants me to be now. It was a scary, out of this world ride to where I am now, but I made it and any one faced with some of the same things can make it too!! I pulled me and my children out of the ghetto- and put us in the most amazing neighborhood, and school district. I am going to give my kids a chance in life, a chance that I took too soon in life.

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